Mama Kay Goes to Battle

 

Mama Kay turned off the ignition and simply sat motionless like a cat on

his hind legs, waiting to spring at his prey. She couldn't quite muster the

energy to get out of her car and set the mission in motion.

 

She reviewed her attack plan - the handwritten list had been written and

discussed the night previously - and she visualized her point of entry and

emergency exit.

 

Her car was parked at an angle between two spaces for a clean getaway.

Her cheap plastic purse was checked for the necessary equipment to

complete the job. She patted it and opened each section. Credit card.

Phone. Travel-size hairspray. Paper clip.

 

Mama Kay sighed deeply. She put on her purple mask and gloves color

coordinated to match her all-black outfit. She shifted in her Ugg combat

boots and retied the laces. Don't forget the tomato soup.

She opened her car door, placed her feet firmly on the ground and

suddenly, rushed like an invading army of one person hoping a sneak

attack would be the surprise element for the win.

 

Now according to the Governor of "The Great Metropolitan Area of

New York and Upstate," older, vulnerable people are to shelter in and

leave their shopping to delivery or aid from relatives or neighbors.

Precisely what was Mama Kay doing defying orders?

 

In her mind, Mama Kay lives in the vast unexplored territory attached to

"The Great Metropolitan Area of New York and Upstate." She was

risking that there was a loophole in the order. Upstate is NOT Western

New York and only draws its boundaries at Westchester County.

At least, that would be her working theory if Mama Kay must defend

herself. She bet that no one on Long Island, the Bronx, or Staten Island

could point on a map to where Mama Kay resides in the vaguest sense.

 

Anyhow, at the crack of dawn might prove to be as safe as possible for

an invasion of such grand proportions. The weather was clear with an

overcast sky in case air support was required from the local airport. The

ducks were out on the pond and ready to submerge if necessary as

decoys.

 

The swinging door opened into the dimly-lit supermarket left dark so

that early morning customers would be able to hide their identities easier

from one another.

Mama Kay stormed her battlefield with a sharp turn to the right. Don't

forget the potato chips.

 

In under an hour -a record -, Mama Kay sashayed out in victory with her

shopping cart loaded for a month. Her hands trembled in relief as she

wiped down her steering before leaving the devastation behind.